On the Bright Side

Hello, Internet People!
Wow! I am really bad at this. Blogmas was a fail. I am super sorry for not updating, but finals week was hectic, and I just took a break from reality afterwards. I am currently at home, in NYC. I actually have money in my pocket (or had), so I truly love the city right now. I have always said this, and I will say it again, NYC is so much better when you have money to spend.

Since we last spoke one of my roommates has gone abroad to Italy, I have received my final grades; I passed my road test, got a new wardrobe, and new hair. Life has been pretty amazing, and although I still have anxiety sometimes, it's manageable because I don't have anything to worry about. As relaxing as the break has been, it is almost time to go back to real life. The semester may not star until the end of January, but I begin working on the fifth. I will be working with the interlibrary loan department at my school, and with the Park Scholar program. I'm working almost full time, Monday-Friday 9am-4pm. My winter break will be busy, but I will be making that money. In order to remain sane, I have plans to hang out and just have a good time on the weekends.

I am super excited to have my license. It took me four attempts, but I finally passed and that will be one less concern in my life. You all know that I was having a pretty rough semester, but I am happy to report that I made it out with decent grades. Two A-, a B and a B+, and one C. The C really upset me, but it doesn't surprise me. I hated that class and put almost no effort into it. I hope to get A's next semester mostly, but I do have a full load. I am taking 18 credits. Now that sounds completely insane, but 3 of those credits are from internship, and internship shouldn't have that much homework. I am also planning to take Intro to Logic pass/fail because I don't want to have to worry about how that is going to affect my GPA. That's supposed to be a pretty difficult course anyway.

That's about it. Now that I have my license I can go to club meetings, hit the gym more often, and go relax when life becomes too much. I'll stop here because I always tend to ramble when I write those blogs. You guys don't need to read essays.
P.S I am also going to read real books in January.
I'll see you all next time!

I've hit a wall: Blogmas day 15

Okay, So my finals are officially tomorrow. I have done some studying, and I feel fairly confident that I am not going to bomb my Art History final, but my Family Dynamics and Therapy final is up in the air at this point. I should study some more, but at this point, all of the words in my textbook are starting to blur together, and I'm not even sure what I'm reading. I honestly need another nap.

It was so funny. I woke up and decided to write some more of my paper. I finished two paragraphs and then took a nap for an hour and a half. At this point, I am still completely exhausted and have every intention of going home after work, taking a nice bath and continue to study in the bath. I have to make sure to be in bed my midnight so I can be awake by 8am and get some last minute studying in.

These are my only in class finals, and after they are both done, I will need to start on that book that my professor wants me to write, finish my counseling final, and do my science final. I will then catch up on all of the readings that I have missed, and that will be the end of my finals week. It's hard to think that it is only Monday.

I am starting to feel the stress, and I imagine that tomorrow morning I will completely freak out. Luckily, I do have the essay that is due tomorrow completed and cited. I just worry that it's not very good, because even though I had a thorough outline, the assumptions I was making were a stretch and now that I think about it, had very little to do with art history. I hope it's not crap. I'll have to go back over it tomorrow when words make sense.

I still am waking up in the middle of the night because of a dry cough. I also immediately walked into work today and got a nose bleed. Is it really sad that I was very glad that happened because it meant that I could distract myself. Yeah, so I'm just done. I wish myself all of the luck in the world with my finals. I will need it.

May the Grades Be Ever in My favor: Blogmas day 14

Hi Internet People!
Lol, so last you guys heard, shit was going down. I would recap that immediately, but finals week has officially begun, and I don't feel like reliving the trauma that is the situation with my roommates. Instead, I will be the time master, and I will tell you about what happened today. I will then go back to inform you all about the drama of being introverted with extroverted and just plain inconsiderate roommates.
Today is Sunday. Okay, technically it's Monday because it is past midnight. I spent at least 3 hours doing work today, but that helps no one. Finals week is the week where you get your shit together, or your risk finishing the semester in a giant blaze of stupidity and regrets.

Lol, I sincerely hope so. Two hours of the work that I managed to do, got me one-third of the way through an exam. The other hour got me a very thorough outline for a paper that I have yet to write. Yes, it is due tomorrow. Don't judge me.
In other news, I am pulling an all nighter tonight because I am working tonight. I am working for 9.5 ours from 10pm until 7:30 AM. I hope to get a lot of work done because I am getting paid. I think that's pretty amazing because I am pretty much getting paid to study for finals, so I should get a lot of work done so that I can goof off in peace. I also plan to sleep all day tomorrow, so yeah, time to get work done. I am taking a half an hour break because I can no longer focus.
Despite the fact that my life is a mess, I still feel pretty fantastic, because one, my room is finally clean. It feels amazing to be able to see the floor. I also have an appointment with a psychiatrist on Tuesday, and I'm just glad to be able to speak to someone. I also have real food to eat, and it is the end of the semester. There is also free study snacks in the chapel all night tonight, or so I heard. I sincerely hope this is true because I want mini bagels too.
I am always calm during finals week, even when I have a shit ton of work to do. I think that is an amazing defense mechanism, so rock on brain. I'll stop here so that I don't bore you guys to death.
Have a lovely day everyone.
'Till next time.

Damn, This isn't Going to End Well: Blogmas Day 9

Hello Every One,

Welcome to the 9th day of Blogmas.

On this, the 9th day of December, I woke up very angry and frustrated.  I had not completed my research paper, so I saw no need to go to class. I went with Aliyah to OSG and attempted to get my work done as she went to class. However, all I saw in my head was soapy, purple sponges.

I was desperate to meet with my housemates and discuss how things were not going well. The whole day I thought of everything that I had to say so that I didn't miss anything. I'm not even sure what happened this day. I know that I met with my science group to go over our project and that I went to my professor's office hours to make sure that my group went on Thursday.

Afterwards, I was steaming mad, so I went to visit Aliyah at work. I couldn't focus on anything, so I drank hot chocolate to soothe my throat. By this point, I was feeling horribly ill. Aliyah left early so that we could cook dinner. As I said, I am queen petty, so we cooked a big meal. I then left to work, and suffered through it, because I honestly felt like I was dying.

Luckily, Victoria came and she had a chocolate cupcake. She was going to stay over at my house because we had to leave early in the morning to make it to my road test in her hometown. It was freezing, but we walked home because I didn't want a ride from Kerline. I waited a half an hour to calm down before our meeting, because the last thing that I wanted to do was to come off rude.

At the meeting, I put everything that was bothering me out there, and we concluded our meeting with a better understanding of where the other person was coming from. We were even laughing, and things felt lighter.

It was about midnight at this point, so I helped Aliyah find an outfit for her 90's themed soccer game the next day. I went to bed and watched Tue Life with Victoria.

Now wait until you hear what happened. It was about 15 minutes after our meeting. I had just turned the TV off to go to bed. I hear screaming, laughing and loud talking. Now, didn't we just ask that you guys stay quiet, and didn't you JUST say that you would. This was not good at all, but they did shut up after 5 minutes, so I was able to go to sleep.

No, our problems were not fixed.

This is not Good: Blogmas day 8

Hello, every one,
I promise that there are reasons why you haven't heard from me in almost a week. I don't want to summarize, so I will write this as if it were that day.

Dec 8th

Today I was planning to meet Aliyah in the Pub to actually do the work that needed to get done. As usual, I was up all night, so I decided to meet her a little bit later. I woke up at 1:30 and was expecting to take a driving lesson, but Kerline wasn't available until later that day. Instead, I just walked to the Pub to do some studying. I go there and of course I didn't feel like doing what had to get done, so I did research for my science project. Learning about clean drinking water wasn't awful, and I'm glad that I was able to learn about how big of a problem this. I want to find ways to help.

We only stayed in the pub for about an hour because Aliyah had to go to an Eboard meeting.
I stayed in the computer lab next door and caught up on my blogs. I really love blogging, and I think that it's super relaxing.

Reynelle then took us grocery shopping because we had forgotten a few things the day before. We now have plenty of food, which is good because our roommates never take us grocery shopping. There was tension in the house, but it is the end of the semester, so we believed that there was no reason to talk.

What truly upset me was how there was no dish soap, but our roommates were clearly cleaning their dishes. Now, that was petty of them, but I am queen petty. I wanted to take my sponges and watch them wash dishes with their hands, but Aliyah calmed me down and we set up a group meeting for the next day.

I went to bed still angry, but I had other things to worry about, so I decided not to concern myself with their behavior and to say what I had to say at our house meeting.
Things did not calm down.

I'm a Blueberry Muffin: Blogmas day 6

Hi Everyone,

I woke up this morning in a daze. My head hurt, and I was very dizzy. Luckily, I am not one of those people that get hungover, and if I do, it's because I had way too much to drink. Still, this wasn't that bad. I took some ibuprofen, and I was all good. I turned some music on, thought back to that night and tried my best to pretend that everything was good. I'm not even sure what I did for that hour until my friend woke up, but I imagine that it was a whole lot of nothing.

Once she did wake up, she poked fun at me. I was super embarrassed but not as embarrassed as I was before. We got dressed, and she tried her best to convince me that driving illegally would have been fine. That did not fly with me, so I didn't. This day was pretty dull.

We walked to our friend's house and helped her clean up. Then we looked for her wallet and found it in her coat pocket. Finally, we went grocery shopping because our roommates never think to invite us to go buy food. My friend accidentally blew past a red light and got pulled over. It was 11:59 at night and she got a ticket five minutes after her 21st birthday party started. Aliyah and I then shoved our faces with Pizza, wings and salad. We were laughing about how a quiz told me that I was a blueberry muffin and that I was a basic bitch.

I thought that was hilarious. Then our toilet broke, and a plumber had to come over at 3 AM to fix it. That was all that happened. I went back to my room, and I fell asleep.
See, wasn't that so much duller. On the bright side, this is the last week of class, and I am super pumped to be almost done.

Neon shots of Death: Blogmas day 5

Okay guys,

So I did go to the party and I had a really good time. However, there were very clear cringe moments, so this will be a lesson in learning your limits. There were jello shots. They were so good, but I kept throwing them back like it was candy. Worse than that I would take a shot of vodka and chase it with a jello shot. Then I had a glass of wine and a few more shots. I would say that I had like 12 shots in total. As you can imagine, I was very, very drunk. We were originally going to stay in the house and party, but we ended up going to a frat party; the last one of the year.

I am blind as hell, combine that with how drunk I was, and I couldn't see shit. I know that I ended up dancing with a lot of guys and being that girl at the party. As I type this, I am blushing bright red. I didn't do anything crazy; I was just sloppy. I just decided to have a good time and I went home thinking  that I wasn't black out because I could remember everything that happened.

WRONG. I did not remember everything that happened because my friend told me things that I do NOT remember doing. Now that was the most embarrassing thing, but I was like fuck it, YOLO. Yes, I went there. Everyone does stupid shit when they are too drunk. I don't judge people for what they do when they are drunk, and I don't think that they judge me for the moronic things that I do when I am drunk. I saw a funny picture somewhere, and it said don't let drunk you do things that sober you has to deal with. I was like fuck that, I'm going to do what I want. Drunk me and sober me are BFF's. Not true. Sober me really wishes that drunk me had gone home. Oh well though. I can't go dwelling in the past. That does not fix anything.

Obviously things happened before this party, but they are not as exciting as what happened at the party. Anyway, I ended the night by taking two bites of a big ass bowl of cereal and passing out. I have to learn my limits. It's just hard because I don't gradually get drunk. The drunkness just hits me and by then it is too late. I'll just stop drinking. 

Well, that was my night of stupidity. I will update you all on what happened after that.

All Work, No Play: Blogmas Day 4

Hi everyone,
I am going to try to keep this short and not bore you with an essay of my day. I had about 4 hours of sleep before it was time to start my day. I went to my science class and learned about fishing and farming fish. I learned that it was gross and really bad for the environment.

Then it was my two-hour break, and I did nothing but gossip with my friend and showed off videos of my beautiful nephew, Austin. Then it was time for class again where I watched a video of feminist therapy. I had to struggle to stay awake, but not because it was boring, I just had no sleep.
I picked up some extra shifts, because I do need money. I came home, picked up my delicious candy, and then I took a nap until Aliyah came back.

See, my life is dull. I ate dinner, and I did homework. Now I am watching the food network and thinking about how I am going to do this semester in terms of grades.

The only mildly exciting things that happened was that I got an invitation to interview for a job, and for an internship. Also, the bookstore was playing holiday music, and it put me in a festive mood. I can't wait to go back to NYC and see all of the amazing Christmas decorations. Oh, my application to go abroad is now halfway done! I am so pumped. The last things to do is submit the personal statement and the application fee. I will reveal where I am going if I get in.

Well, that's about it. I hope you guys enjoyed this, and I promise tomorrows blog will be a lot better because I am going to a party. I'm trying to figure out what to wear, but this is me right now:

Chipmunk Songs: Blogmas Day 3

Hi Internet people!
On the third day of blogmas, I gave to thee another blog post that's super rambley. Eh, I tried, I know that's not a word. I stayed up all night last night talking to Aliyah and watching music videos. Luckily, my first class was at 1, so I got to get some sleep. I am exhausted because I know that my day is nowhere near over. It is almost seven at night, yet I still need to be here. I have to work at 10, and I will be here until 2am. This sucks, I need to make sure that I never work this shift ever again.
I have finished all of my classes for the day, and I have actually started my research. I didn't clean my room, but I will seriously get to that. Not tonight though because I am going to knock out as soon as I get home. Sadly, it won't be enough because I have to be up at 8:30 in the morning. I really need to fix it.

I did, in fact, make it through the night, and ended up staying awake until 4 am to watch Van Helsing (so good). I also woke up at 8:30 feeling refreshed, and I made it to all of my classes. I was supposed to do my work, but I didn't. However, I am almost done with the semester, and I plan to do work tomorrow and Sunday. My friend's friend offered to take us grocery shopping, so I am very excited to actually have food in the house again.

Sorry, that wasn't very exciting, but the life of a college student right before finals week never really is. I do go home to New York City for the holidays, so that should be way more exciting, because I'll actually be doing stuff that doesn't involve studying and skipping class.

I do have a funny story though. I got an email saying that I had a refund available. That didn't sound right to me because I normally get my refund back right before Spring semester classes. I pushed that feeling and accepted my refund. It got sent for review, and I was pumped. I thought about all the fun that I could have and the bills that I didn't have to worry about. Nope, it was rejected the next day, so now I have to wait until January. It isn't that bad, I just thought it was funny because I immediately pictured myself as Taylor Swift in Blank Space. By the way, I want all of the clothes that she wears in the video. They were AMAZING!

P.S when I was in class, I started singing a song in my head. It went like this: I am a little chipmunk, short and stout. I kept wanting to sing here is my handle, here is my spout, but chipmunks don't have handles or spouts. LOL the stupid things I do.

Look at how cute. These little guys run around all over Ithaca.

Bad days and new plans Blogmas Day 2

Hi internet people,

It is the second day of Blogmas. I suffer from Anxiety, and a bunch of other things, so today has sucked. Some days aren't hat bad, but today was awful. I had a group presentation, so I was nervous all night. Because I was so nervous; I ended up staying up all night until about 4. My first class is at 9;25 am, but I wake up at around 8:30 so that I can get there on time. I really love this class, but decided to sleep through it because we were going to watch a movie that I've already seen a few times.

Of course, my alarm didn't go off, so I woke up late, and was 25 minutes late to my 1:10 class. I also love this class, so I was understandably upset. I have never fucked up this badly in a semester, and I have to wonder what the heck is wrong with me. I really don't know what to do, but I honestly feel like I am drowning in my stupidity. I am going to have to commit myself to a very healthy lifestyle, so that means 8 hours of sleep every night, which means a 12 am bedtime, taking my vitamins, and actually eating. Over the past 48 hours, I have eaten one meal, so that's not productive towards making my life better. I just honestly haven't had time to cook, which means that I haven't had time to eat.

I'm not sure what to do, and I wonder if my grades are salvageable. I'm thinking about stopping by my professor's office hours to just speak to them and make sure that they know that something is going on and that I'm not just a lazy bitch.

Speaking of bitch, I have also been prone to get angry very quickly, and when I'm not angry, I am depressed, but I am happy to report that this isn't as often as normal. Instead, I am calm most of the time. I am more motivated to do work,  I just need a way to stop these panic attacks. I'm probably going to stop by Green star and pick up some super foods, and feel good comfort foods. I'm going to clean my room, because my life is a mess, so I don't need my room to reflect that.

I'm also happy to say that I did manage to finish all of my homework on time and that I am almost done with presentations. My final one to do is my science one, and I am much more comfortable with that because I know what I want to present, and I don't have to speak.

Finally, for those of you who don't know, I am obsessed with Supernatural, and I have been since I was 12.There is an all new episode tonight, and I am super pumped. To prepare myself for maximum enjoyment, I am going to do laundry, reorganize my room, do some research, and some networking, get ahead on some homework, so that I don't freak the f out next week and then I can watch supernatural in peace.
P.S it is now snowing

Blogmas day 1

Happy Blogmas you guys! It is a beautiful day here in Ithaca, New York! Lol, jokes. It's cold and gloomy out, which is very typical of Ithaca. They don't tell you that in the tours. I have managed to complete my essay, go to my interview, and figure out what the heck I'm going to talk about for my presentation tomorrow. I just have to flesh out the details so I can sound all intellectual like.

Totally random but of info, I'm not wearing any socks. I got a brand new pair of faux leather boats, but they don't fit if I wear socks. So, my toes really hurt:(. I'm dying to take the shoes off, but I haven't done my toes in like (brace yourselves ) five months. Is that bad? Never mind, yes that's bad.

To up day you on a date, I was  almost late to my interview because my alarm didn't make any noise! What good is an alarm that doesn't make noise? Luckily, I made it on time, but my hair suffered. Because I was rushing, I sweat my hair out so now I look ridiculous. My outfit is on point though. I would insert a selfie to show you, but I look truly awful, and I don't want that to be on the internet.

In other not exciting news, I'm entering sweepstakes! Whoop .5% chance of winning. Even though I probably won't win, I have to enter anyway because come one, it's a chance at free stuff. I like free stuff.

It is currently 3:30 in the afternoon and rather than get ahead on work, I decided to go on Buzzfeed. You guys remember courage the cowardly dog, right? Well, according to a Buzzfeed quiz, I am Freaky Fred. I laughed so hard because he was the villain that made me laugh the most. I loved when he said Naughty! Only those of you who watched the show will understand what the heck I am going on about.

As a final note, everyone seems to be going abroad, and it makes me super jealous. I see their applications and hear them talk about it, and it reminds me that my abroad experience finished. Oh Australia, how I miss thee. I have to figure out how to go abroad again before next Fall.