Ugh! I'm literally going crazy. I decided to wear jeans today and although they are fine on the top, I can feel them squeezing my thighs, and I just want to run out of my internship screaming and throw myself in bed forever. It's only one, and I'm at work until three, and I am literally losing my fucking mind. I can feel my belly folding over my jeans, and I wish I was rich enough to get liposuction.
To make it worse, after a week of restricting my calories I haven't dropped an ounce. I am so frustrated.
My hair is a damn mess; my hamper has exploded all over my room. I don't have a fucking summer job. My loans won't disperse until August, but I need to secure a place to live before then. My senior project is due next week and I'm not even close to done with it and my stupid pants are trying to kill me!!! I want to cry, but I seriously just need to chill. I'm going to just eat vegetables because my stupid fucking body refuses to get smaller and I hate myself for gaining weight.
I have school work, but the worst part is that I don't even care, but not caring isn't an option. How the hell do people do this. I'm going to run away and never come back. Stupid lack of funds makes that impossible. I can't deal with this. I think I'm having a panic attack, except that I'm not hyperventilating. I need air.
This is what it's really like to graduate. Be warned that it's a lot of stress and all of my senior friends walk around looking like someone has sucked their souls out. I'm sure it will be better once classes are officially over and once I can fit into my pants again.
Hopefully next time I won't be on the edge.
No comments:
Post a Comment